¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

fear

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-08-23 3135

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not right to attribute to self-responsibility like buying self-defense gadgets.

The government should solve this problem by reinforcing the law and public power.

All countries must prioritize people's safety and welfare.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Ms. Lily!
We are in accord about this matter. Citizens are not responsible to buy something to protect themselves because sometimes, we don't know how to use them especially when we are in danger.
I like your idea here. Keep it up!
Aki~

It is not right to attribute to self-responsibility like buying self-defense gadgets.
>>> CORRECT!

The government should solve this problem by reinforcing the law and public power.
>>> CORRECT!

All countries must prioritize people's safety and welfare.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130260 WRITING TASK: Why do you think some people like collecting? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2
130259 homework essay(2023. 8. 17.) ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1
130258 How would I feel if someone accepts my offer ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2671
130257 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2589
130256 In your own opinion, what is the best way for a person to leave... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 3168
130255 Why didn\'t you pursue nursing? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 3863
130254 homework 08.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1995
130253 08-16 homework ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1
130252 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 2825
130251 Would you get married to a North Koren defector? Why or why not? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 3
130250 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 3941
130249 Do you want to become famous? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 2710
130248 What is your favorite part of about school? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 2195
130247 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 3524
130246 What kind of person do you want to avoid? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1
130245 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 0
130244 Do you think the world would be any different if we all speak... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 3065
130243 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1784
130242 Tattoos È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 3436
130241 home work °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1832

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04