¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

fear

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-08-23 1898

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not right to attribute to self-responsibility like buying self-defense gadgets.

The government should solve this problem by reinforcing the law and public power.

All countries must prioritize people's safety and welfare.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Ms. Lily!
We are in accord about this matter. Citizens are not responsible to buy something to protect themselves because sometimes, we don't know how to use them especially when we are in danger.
I like your idea here. Keep it up!
Aki~

It is not right to attribute to self-responsibility like buying self-defense gadgets.
>>> CORRECT!

The government should solve this problem by reinforcing the law and public power.
>>> CORRECT!

All countries must prioritize people's safety and welfare.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130073 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 1707
130072 Who/What inspires you the most in your life now? ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 2344
130071 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 1530
130070 sad ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 1402
130069 8/7 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3
130068 Have you ever worked somewhere that had bad employment... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 2046
130067 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 1643
130066 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 1404
130065 What are some strategies for resolving conflicts and improving... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 1705
130064 Why do people experience headaches? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1
130063 08-08 homework. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 3007
130062 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 2416
130061 What\'s your thought on people who try to change their... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 2
130060 homework 08.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1572
130059 Have you ever felt hesitant to invite someone to join you for an... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1
130058 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1791
130057 Did you enjoy eating out in other countries you have visited?... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 0
130056 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 0
130055 Do you like riding on a plane? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1383
130054 The soccer is number one sports in Korea. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04