¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

fear

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-08-23 1949

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not right to attribute to self-responsibility like buying self-defense gadgets.

The government should solve this problem by reinforcing the law and public power.

All countries must prioritize people's safety and welfare.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Ms. Lily!
We are in accord about this matter. Citizens are not responsible to buy something to protect themselves because sometimes, we don't know how to use them especially when we are in danger.
I like your idea here. Keep it up!
Aki~

It is not right to attribute to self-responsibility like buying self-defense gadgets.
>>> CORRECT!

The government should solve this problem by reinforcing the law and public power.
>>> CORRECT!

All countries must prioritize people's safety and welfare.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131944 Terrible experience ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2123
131943 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131942 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131941 What is your favorite thing to do on social media? Explain ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 0
131940 Why are mountains important? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131939 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2
131938 What part of your country would you ideally like to live in? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131937 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 4
131936 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 0
131935 tour ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2123
131934 After school ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 3263
131933 > Christmas was never celebrated in the past nor was it a... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 10
131932 Does your philosophy in life relate to your career or your... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1141
131931 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1278
131930 My date was ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1725
131929 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1
131928 homework 10.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1426
131927 HOMEWORK -231025 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1
131926 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1
131925 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1145

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04