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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework 08.22

작성자: 최*�
2023-08-22 1075

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What is your opinion about teachers at elementary to high schools being allowed to remove disruptive students and confiscate their mobile phones if they continue to interrupt classes and disturb others?

I hope there is a strong punishment for the student who disruptive with the class.
These days when I watched news, school teachers have a hard time because bad student.
So, education ministry is changing the amend a law.
In addition, I think these student's parents also have a problems.
These parents are not interested in education their children.
They are depend only on school about their children education.
In severe cases, they are investigate teacher's private lives.
Or they are ask for an unreasonable request to teacher.
So, I think these parents also need education.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What is your opinion about teachers at elementary to high schools being allowed to remove disruptive students and confiscate their mobile phones if they continue to interrupt classes and disturb others?

I hope there is a strong punishment for the student who disruptive with the class.
>> I hope there is a strong punishment for the students who have a disruptive behavior in class.
These days when I watched news, school teachers have a hard time because bad student.
>> These days when I watch the news, school teachers have a hard time because of bad students.
So, education ministry is changing the amend a law.
>> So, the education ministry should amend the law.
In addition, I think these student's parents also have a problems.
>> In addition, I think these students' parents also have problems.
These parents are not interested in education their children.
>>  These parents are not interested in the education of their children.
They are depend only on school about their children education.
>> They only depend on the school about their children's education.
In severe cases, they are investigate teacher's private lives.
>> In severe cases, they investigate the teachers' private lives.
OR >> In severe cases, they do a background check on the teachers.
Or they are ask for an unreasonable request to teacher.
>> They even ask for an unreasonable request to the teacher.
So, I think these parents also need education.
>> CORRECT!
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