¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What mechanisms are necessary for people to go through in order to succeed in life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-21 1368

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Above all, we need to know what our society needs to succeed in life. So the prerequisite to be successful in life can be different from societies and times. For example, Korea used to want their workers to be as diligent as they can. So my father and his coworkers worked lots of overtime and even went to work on Saturday. But now Korea seems to want their workers to be smart enough to contribute to the company's profits or values more directly. So workers need to know how to improve the figures of accounts of the company no matter what department they work for. They have to be more productive than the budget they waste including workforce or anything intangible the company gets ready for them. And they are also encouraged or often urged to help or lead other companions to join their productive mindset or process of work.
In short, Koreans need to be equipped with a sense of accounting, and conversation skills to influence others to be of help for your company or succeed in life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework!

~T. Divina^^

Here are some things to take note of:

1. Above all, we need to know what our society needs to succeed in life.
>>First of all, we need to know what our society needs to succeed in life.

2. So the prerequisite to be successful in life can be different from societies and times.
>>The prerequisite to be successful in life can be different from societies and times.

3. For example, Korea used to want their workers to be as diligent as they can.
>>CORRECT! 

4. So my father and his coworkers worked lots of overtime and even went to work on Saturday. 
>>So, my father and his coworkers worked overtime for a lot of time and even went to work on Saturdays. 

5. But now Korea seems to want their workers to be smart enough to contribute to the company's profits or values more directly.
>>CORRECT!

6. So workers need to know how to improve the figures of accounts of the company no matter what department they work for. 
>>So, workers need to know how to improve the company's figure no matter what department they're working for. 

7. They have to be more productive than the budget they waste including workforce or anything intangible the company gets ready for them.
>>They have to be more productive than the budget they waste, including workforce or anything intangible that the company gets ready for them. 

8. And they are also encouraged or often urged to help or lead other companions to join their productive mindset or process of work.
>>They are also encouraged or often urged to help or lead other companions to join their productive mindset or process of work.

9. In short, Koreans need to be equipped with a sense of accounting, and conversation skills to influence others to be of help for your company or succeed in life.
>>In short, Koreans need to be equipped with a sense of accounting, and conversation skills to influence others for the benefit of the company and one's life.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131492 WRITING TASK: Who do you want to go to a cinema with? Why? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 4
131491 Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3
131490 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°My favorite... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2
131489 My favorite food (Homework) Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2762
131488 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2339
131487 I want friend is--- ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1629
131486 What do you know about Australian culture? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1875
131485 What is your favorite emoji? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2382
131484 Do you enjoy working in groups or alone? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2308
131483 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3
131482 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1831
131481 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131480 Do you think that frozen eggs have side effects/ disadvantages... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2
131479 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2345
131478 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2359
131477 Long distance relations ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1915
131476 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131475 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131474 Hi, Divina °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131473 Do you think your wedding is the happiest day of your life? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04