¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To develop my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-21 2397

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to develop my life to enjoy and get be satisfied. I knew how much important to do self compassion. We have to do it for our self-regard. When we have a strong mind and high self regard we can endure against the stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

I could not agree more. If you regard yourself highly because you respect the fact that you are wise, compassionate, and worthy of respect,  you can shield yourself from unnecessary and irrelevant distraction or harm. Thus, you have to make yourself full again to be ready to love and be successful generally.

Kindly study my grammar suggestions below. You used very good vocabulary as well as combinations of sentences very well. Excellent job!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

I would like to develop my life to enjoy and get be satisfied. 
>> I would like to develop my life and enjoy being satisfied.

I knew how much important to do self compassion. 
>> Correct!
Or: 
I know how important it is to do self compassion. 

We have to do it for our self-regard. 
>> Correct!

When we have a strong mind and high self regard we can endure against the stress.
>> Correct!
Or: 
When we have a strong mind and high self-regard we can endure  stress.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128554 In 3-5 sentences, please answer the question: Is there a game... ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 948
128553 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1009
128552 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1252
128551 Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so,... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 895
128550 homework 05.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1070
128549 Ms. Harmony ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 0
128548 homework 5/29 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1
128547 homework 5/24 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1
128546 How do you talk about the company meetings? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1
128545 My favorite fruit ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1183
128544 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1126
128543 How do you help your mother in the household chores? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 867
128542 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1519
128541 How would you feel if your liberty was taken away? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 6
128540 Being alone and Being lonely ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 944
128539 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1078
128538 London ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1
128537 Describe the experience of falling in love. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 824
128536 Do you like going to a picnic? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 0
128535 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 832

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04