¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To develop my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-21 2321

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to develop my life to enjoy and get be satisfied. I knew how much important to do self compassion. We have to do it for our self-regard. When we have a strong mind and high self regard we can endure against the stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

I could not agree more. If you regard yourself highly because you respect the fact that you are wise, compassionate, and worthy of respect,  you can shield yourself from unnecessary and irrelevant distraction or harm. Thus, you have to make yourself full again to be ready to love and be successful generally.

Kindly study my grammar suggestions below. You used very good vocabulary as well as combinations of sentences very well. Excellent job!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

I would like to develop my life to enjoy and get be satisfied. 
>> I would like to develop my life and enjoy being satisfied.

I knew how much important to do self compassion. 
>> Correct!
Or: 
I know how important it is to do self compassion. 

We have to do it for our self-regard. 
>> Correct!

When we have a strong mind and high self regard we can endure against the stress.
>> Correct!
Or: 
When we have a strong mind and high self-regard we can endure  stress.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129106 Do you like shopping? Offline or online? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129105 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129104 writing exercise ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1672
129103 6/27 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2401
129102 Writing Task 0626 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129101 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129100 WRITING TASK: What advice would you give to people starting in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129099 The best thing about Korea ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 3015
129098 What are your first-day expectations at work? Share your answer... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2518
129097 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129096 energy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1960
129095 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2203
129094 26.Jun.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129093 HOMEWORK2 ÀÌ*½Â ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 0
129092 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1743
129091 homework 06.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1569
129090 What\'s your thought on victim blaming in cases of... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 5
129089 What insect are you afraid most? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 2057
129088 English interview Question list ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1800
129087 Do you like rain? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04