¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To develop my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-21 1677

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to develop my life to enjoy and get be satisfied. I knew how much important to do self compassion. We have to do it for our self-regard. When we have a strong mind and high self regard we can endure against the stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

I could not agree more. If you regard yourself highly because you respect the fact that you are wise, compassionate, and worthy of respect,  you can shield yourself from unnecessary and irrelevant distraction or harm. Thus, you have to make yourself full again to be ready to love and be successful generally.

Kindly study my grammar suggestions below. You used very good vocabulary as well as combinations of sentences very well. Excellent job!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

I would like to develop my life to enjoy and get be satisfied. 
>> I would like to develop my life and enjoy being satisfied.

I knew how much important to do self compassion. 
>> Correct!
Or: 
I know how important it is to do self compassion. 

We have to do it for our self-regard. 
>> Correct!

When we have a strong mind and high self regard we can endure against the stress.
>> Correct!
Or: 
When we have a strong mind and high self-regard we can endure  stress.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131602 HOMEWORK- 231012 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1
131601 trust ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 789
131600 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 6
131599 11.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1
131598 a housewarming culture ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 3
131597 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1595
131596 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1291
131595 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131594 Is spanking a good way to discipline children? Why or why not? Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131593 Have you ever experienced a \"once-in-a-lifetime\" event? What... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1088
131592 How nutritious is bread? What is your favorite spread to put on... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1241
131591 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? You... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 2
131590 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 923
131589 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1379
131588 homework 10.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1113
131587 Should the government use public funds to financially support... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1
131586 Do you you read a book before bedtime? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1136
131585 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1
131584 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 871
131583 ¡°You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04