¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.17

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-17 1905

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?a

We face a lot of stress in daily lives.
And many people do hobbies or similar activities for reduce stress.
Most people around me, in a healthy(positive) way for reduce stress.
For example, they usually choose to work out or eat delicious food.
But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways for reduce stress.
They are alcoholics.
They drink little by little to reduce stress at first time.
But, later they became an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
So, I think anyone who chooses a negative ways will get more stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?


We face a lot of stress in daily lives.
>> We face a lot of stress in our daily lives.
And many people do hobbies or similar activities for reduce stress.
>> And many people do hobbies or similar activities to reduce stress.
Most people around me, in a healthy(positive) way for reduce stress.
>> Most people around me reduce their stress in a healthy way.
For example, they usually choose to work out or eat delicious food.
>> CORRECT!
But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways for reduce stress.
>> But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways to reduce stress.
OR >> But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways in reducing stress.
They are alcoholics.
>> CORRECT!
They drink little by little to reduce stress at first time.
>> CORRECT!
But, later they became an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
>> But, later they become an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
So, I think anyone who chooses a negative ways will get more stress.
>> So, I think anyone who chooses negative ways will get more stress.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126641 What is your favorite hobby? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 0
126640 What springs to mind when you hear the word \'perfect\'? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 729
126639 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 4
126638 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 0
126637 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 541
126636 What is your favorite food? Do you like eating foreign food? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126635 What do you think are the dangers that hanging/posting too many... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 628
126634 Why is going to the military considered a state duty? Should... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 596
126633 Answer : What kind of people do you like to meet? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 761
126632 3.17 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 470
126631 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126630 tia ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 564
126629 Travel to eat something delicious. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126628 Which bad habit of yours do you think would be the most... Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1554
126627 3.17 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 553
126626 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126625 what is your favorite international movie and why? ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 648
126624 3/17 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 728
126623 Cherry blossoms ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126622 Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 695

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04