¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.17

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-17 1614

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?a

We face a lot of stress in daily lives.
And many people do hobbies or similar activities for reduce stress.
Most people around me, in a healthy(positive) way for reduce stress.
For example, they usually choose to work out or eat delicious food.
But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways for reduce stress.
They are alcoholics.
They drink little by little to reduce stress at first time.
But, later they became an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
So, I think anyone who chooses a negative ways will get more stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?


We face a lot of stress in daily lives.
>> We face a lot of stress in our daily lives.
And many people do hobbies or similar activities for reduce stress.
>> And many people do hobbies or similar activities to reduce stress.
Most people around me, in a healthy(positive) way for reduce stress.
>> Most people around me reduce their stress in a healthy way.
For example, they usually choose to work out or eat delicious food.
>> CORRECT!
But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways for reduce stress.
>> But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways to reduce stress.
OR >> But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways in reducing stress.
They are alcoholics.
>> CORRECT!
They drink little by little to reduce stress at first time.
>> CORRECT!
But, later they became an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
>> But, later they become an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
So, I think anyone who chooses a negative ways will get more stress.
>> So, I think anyone who chooses negative ways will get more stress.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132345 I think children and teenagers have a right to enjoy free speech... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 1481
132344 Do you care where the food you eat comes from? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 1
132343 What kinds of international cuisine do you like? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 3
132342 What sports did you play as a child? What was your proudest... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 2061
132341 If you could stop time, what would you do and why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2701
132340 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2
132339 Having hobbies ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2268
132338 homework 11.10 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1945
132337 Where do you and your family spend your holidays? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2681
132336 The kpop idol¡¯s life ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1866
132335 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 0
132334 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Are you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1
132333 I have both an outgoing personality and an introverted... ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2003
132332 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1750
132331 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1757
132330 Which country do you think has the world¡¯s best entertainment? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 3
132329 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2
132328 What were your best and worst trips? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1860
132327 Does technology affect your relationship with your kids or... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2194
132326 How do you maintain your motivation when you fail? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2291

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04