¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.17

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-17 1030

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?a

We face a lot of stress in daily lives.
And many people do hobbies or similar activities for reduce stress.
Most people around me, in a healthy(positive) way for reduce stress.
For example, they usually choose to work out or eat delicious food.
But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways for reduce stress.
They are alcoholics.
They drink little by little to reduce stress at first time.
But, later they became an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
So, I think anyone who chooses a negative ways will get more stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?


We face a lot of stress in daily lives.
>> We face a lot of stress in our daily lives.
And many people do hobbies or similar activities for reduce stress.
>> And many people do hobbies or similar activities to reduce stress.
Most people around me, in a healthy(positive) way for reduce stress.
>> Most people around me reduce their stress in a healthy way.
For example, they usually choose to work out or eat delicious food.
>> CORRECT!
But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways for reduce stress.
>> But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways to reduce stress.
OR >> But, occasionally I heard through the news, some people choose the bad ways in reducing stress.
They are alcoholics.
>> CORRECT!
They drink little by little to reduce stress at first time.
>> CORRECT!
But, later they became an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
>> But, later they become an alcoholic or get sick because of alcohol.
So, I think anyone who chooses a negative ways will get more stress.
>> So, I think anyone who chooses negative ways will get more stress.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131354 Have you used a ride-sharing service, or do you prefer to be the... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 0
131353 How do Koreans normally celebrte Chuseok? Write as much detail... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 1
131352 Unsure future plan ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 706
131351 How do you stay organized and manage your time effectively when... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 537
131350 How I feel when I am not prepared for something ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-30 886
131349 How would the world be a better place if we used only clean... À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-28 0
131348 Are you happy to be living in the ¡®Information Age¡¯? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-28 0
131347 Which country produces the best cars? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-28 0
131346 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-28 2
131345 Is there a particular song that always puts you in a good mood?... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-28 914
131344 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 706
131343 homework 09.27 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 658
131342 If you were to remove one traditional holiday (could be Korean... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1
131341 What is something that you are thankful for?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 608
131340 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 839
131339 Would you rather play video games or read books all day? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 936
131338 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 854
131337 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 0
131336 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 781
131335 The most difficult part of studying English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 839

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04