¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Focus something on my life.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-17 1333

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the important things in my life are health, work and happiness.
I saw the video on YouTube, he said the person who has succeed dose not become happy, the person who is happy become success. If we are happy the work and health are followed.
So I focus on my happiness and find out what kind of things make me happy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Thomas!

I could not agree more with every point you made here on your homework answer. What is the point of living if we are not happy? If we live in hell, then, it's not living life at all. So, our happiness never depends on our family, friends, or lover. It is something we create within ourselves by cultivating gratitude, compassion, and peace. If we are not happy, we cannot give this to other people. Stay happy even when you break your heart and train yourself to see the silver lining in every dark situation.

Your composition was powerful and moving. I cannot sense that your heart was broken. ^^

Thank you for your effort in sharing you experience and knowing how to be happy.

See you!

-T. Donna~

I think the important things in my life are health, work and happiness.
>> Correct!
Or: I think the important things in my life are health, work, and happiness.

I saw the video on YouTube, he said the person who has succeed dose not become happy, the person who is happy become success. If we are happy the work and health are followed.
>> I saw a video on YouTube, a man said that the person who succeeds does not become happy, the person who is happy become successful. If we are happy, the work and health are follow.

So I focus on my happiness and find out what kind of things make me happy.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130299 When do you worry a lot? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130298 Impulsive shopping experience ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1519
130297 Do you respect people who can drink a lot? Why or why not? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130296 Which do you think is more important, modern dance or... °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1882
130295 WRITING TASK: What do you think is the most valuable thing in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 5
130294 Homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2136
130293 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1352
130292 What do you enjoy most about water parks? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130291 What do you include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2479
130290 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1487
130289 If given the chance, what policies in Korea do you wish to... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1951
130288 How do you find balance between work and personal life? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1445
130287 Do you take vitamins? Do they really help people, or do they... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130286 Would you allow Lucy to sleep on your bed? Why or why not? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130285 What makes healthy lifestyle important? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1541
130284 What do you think is an effective way to encourage people to... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1858
130283 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1055
130282 homework 08.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1376
130281 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 0
130280 Would you rather be half-Korean or full-blooded Korean? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04