¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Focus something on my life.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-17 911

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the important things in my life are health, work and happiness.
I saw the video on YouTube, he said the person who has succeed dose not become happy, the person who is happy become success. If we are happy the work and health are followed.
So I focus on my happiness and find out what kind of things make me happy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Thomas!

I could not agree more with every point you made here on your homework answer. What is the point of living if we are not happy? If we live in hell, then, it's not living life at all. So, our happiness never depends on our family, friends, or lover. It is something we create within ourselves by cultivating gratitude, compassion, and peace. If we are not happy, we cannot give this to other people. Stay happy even when you break your heart and train yourself to see the silver lining in every dark situation.

Your composition was powerful and moving. I cannot sense that your heart was broken. ^^

Thank you for your effort in sharing you experience and knowing how to be happy.

See you!

-T. Donna~

I think the important things in my life are health, work and happiness.
>> Correct!
Or: I think the important things in my life are health, work, and happiness.

I saw the video on YouTube, he said the person who has succeed dose not become happy, the person who is happy become success. If we are happy the work and health are followed.
>> I saw a video on YouTube, a man said that the person who succeeds does not become happy, the person who is happy become successful. If we are happy, the work and health are follow.

So I focus on my happiness and find out what kind of things make me happy.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129627 Believe ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 0
129626 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1238
129625 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: What do you want to include in your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 6
129624 WRITING TASK: What are good leisure activities to have? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2
129623 homework essay(2023. 7. 18.) ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2
129622 trust ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1370
129621 what do you think is the most appropriate compensation for... ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1416
129620 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1933
129619 7.17.Mon Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 970
129618 How does television programming impact children\'s development... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 0
129617 Day6 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 3
129616 lesson 14. cafe °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1528
129615 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 0
129614 5things ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1
129613 homework 07.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1973
129612 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1
129611 The best time for me to sleep ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1247
129610 Do you like shopping? Why or why not? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3378
129609 What are some new features offered by streaming services that... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 5
129608 Writing Task 0717 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04