¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What other things companies can do to take good care of their employees?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-16 865

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays is the time when a company with good staff will succeed in a highly competitive business environment. So many companies try to get as many good staff as they can. on this note, taking good care of and developing their employees is a very important strategy for companies.
On the premise that satisfied staff will be all the more loyal to the company and is likely to contribute to the profits or development of the company, companies should meet their staff's needs and help them think outside the box to develop their potential. For example, firms try to help their employees raise their children as much as possible. This is because they will be able to focus more and increase productivity at work when their family is stable. And companies encourage their staff to study and keep up with the trend or cutting-edge technology to appeal to their customers. Staff's competitiveness will lead to companies' competitiveness and profits. To invest money in staff development is worthwhile.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework. Your answers are really meaningful.

~T.Divina^^

Here are some corrections to take note of:

1. Nowadays is the time when a company with good staff will succeed in a highly competitive business environment.
>>Nowadays, companies with good staff are more likely to succeed in a highly competitive business environment.
2. So many companies try to get as many good staff as they can.
>>That is why companies try to get as many good staff as they can.
3. on this note, taking good care of and developing their employees is a very important strategy for companies.
>>On this note, taking good care of and helping their employees develop themselves are very important strategies for companies.

4. On the premise that satisfied staff will be all the more loyal to the company and is likely to contribute to the profits or development of the company, companies should meet their staff's needs and help them think outside the box to develop their potential. 
>>On the premise that satisfied staff will be all the more loyal to the company and are likely to contribute to the profits or development of the company, companies should meet their staff's needs and help them think outside the box to develop their potential. 
5. For example, firms try to help their employees raise their children as much as possible.
>>CORRECT!

6. This is because they will be able to focus more and increase productivity at work when their family is stable.
>>CORRECT!

7. And companies encourage their staff to study and keep up with the trend or cutting-edge technology to appeal to their customers.
>>Also, companies encourage their staff to study and keep up with the trend or cutting-edge technology to appeal to their customers.
8. Staff's competitiveness will lead to companies' competitiveness and profits.
>>The staff's competitiveness will lead to the companies' competitiveness and profits.
9.To invest money in staff development is worthwhile.
>>That is why, to invest money in staff development is worthwhile.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129720 Do you like listening to music? What are your favorite songs? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1509
129719 What can transform your business to a higher level? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1
129718 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1887
129717 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of change? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4
129716 Have you seen a hospital that gives better benefits lately? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1217
129715 How necessary do you think are family gatherings? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1152
129714 My expectations from class and teacher. ¼­*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 3466
129713 How does your company fulfill its corporate responsibility ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 2
129712 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1455
129711 Do you like meeting new people? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-23 2
129710 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-23 1575
129709 Have you ever experienced being completely wrong in your first... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-23 0
129708 2023.7.21 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-23 1922
129707 Homework Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-23 1
129706 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-23 1823
129705 Can money buy happiness? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-23 2
129704 Do you care what a restaurant looks like, or is the food the... ¼³*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-23 1796
129703 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-22 2474
129702 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-22 1802
129701 What do you like most about your communication device... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-22 1484

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04