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영작교정 게시판

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What other things companies can do to take good care of their employees?

작성자: 김*경
2023-08-16 1519

회원님의 영작문

Nowadays is the time when a company with good staff will succeed in a highly competitive business environment. So many companies try to get as many good staff as they can. on this note, taking good care of and developing their employees is a very important strategy for companies.
On the premise that satisfied staff will be all the more loyal to the company and is likely to contribute to the profits or development of the company, companies should meet their staff's needs and help them think outside the box to develop their potential. For example, firms try to help their employees raise their children as much as possible. This is because they will be able to focus more and increase productivity at work when their family is stable. And companies encourage their staff to study and keep up with the trend or cutting-edge technology to appeal to their customers. Staff's competitiveness will lead to companies' competitiveness and profits. To invest money in staff development is worthwhile.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework. Your answers are really meaningful.

~T.Divina^^

Here are some corrections to take note of:

1. Nowadays is the time when a company with good staff will succeed in a highly competitive business environment.
>>Nowadays, companies with good staff are more likely to succeed in a highly competitive business environment.
2. So many companies try to get as many good staff as they can.
>>That is why companies try to get as many good staff as they can.
3. on this note, taking good care of and developing their employees is a very important strategy for companies.
>>On this note, taking good care of and helping their employees develop themselves are very important strategies for companies.

4. On the premise that satisfied staff will be all the more loyal to the company and is likely to contribute to the profits or development of the company, companies should meet their staff's needs and help them think outside the box to develop their potential. 
>>On the premise that satisfied staff will be all the more loyal to the company and are likely to contribute to the profits or development of the company, companies should meet their staff's needs and help them think outside the box to develop their potential. 
5. For example, firms try to help their employees raise their children as much as possible.
>>CORRECT!

6. This is because they will be able to focus more and increase productivity at work when their family is stable.
>>CORRECT!

7. And companies encourage their staff to study and keep up with the trend or cutting-edge technology to appeal to their customers.
>>Also, companies encourage their staff to study and keep up with the trend or cutting-edge technology to appeal to their customers.
8. Staff's competitiveness will lead to companies' competitiveness and profits.
>>The staff's competitiveness will lead to the companies' competitiveness and profits.
9.To invest money in staff development is worthwhile.
>>That is why, to invest money in staff development is worthwhile.
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