¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-15 2144

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to keep fit?

Most people want to living healthy, so their do exercise or control diet for body.
And also, try to reduce stress for mental health.
In my case, I doing a few exercises.
These days I playing a tennis and riding a bicycle.
A lot are other people do weight training also good exercises, but I lost interest these days.
First of all , I need to interest when I do the work out.
And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental.
In addition, almost every day is cheat day!
In fact, it's not good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
But, I get a one day's healthy mental from delicious food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to keep fit?


Most people want to living healthy, so their do exercise or control diet for body.
>> Most people want to live healthy, so they do exercise or do diet to control their body weight.
And also, try to reduce stress for mental health.
>> And also, they do it to reduce stress for their mental health.
In my case, I doing a few exercises.
>> In my case, I do a few exercises.
These days I play tennis and ride a bicycle.
>> These days, I playing a tennis and riding a bicycle.
A lot are other people do weight training also good exercises, but I lost interest these days.
>> There are other people who do weight training since it's also a good exercise, but I lost interest in it these days.
First of all , I need to interest when I do the work out.
>> First of all, I need to be interested in it when I do the work out.
And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental.
>> And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental health.
In addition, almost every day is cheat day!
>> CORRECT!
In fact, it's not good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
>> In fact, it's not a good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
But, I get a one day's healthy mental from delicious food.
>> But, I get happy for a day from eating delicious food.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130134 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1350
130133 The beauty standards in Korea ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1923
130132 How to keep a friend ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1769
130131 How do I value my friends ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1493
130130 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1151
130129 Bertrand Russell said: \"War does not determine who is right -... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2
130128 Is life a good adventure? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 0
130127 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 1537
130126 Which country, aside from your country has the best food? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 1
130125 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 2568
130124 homework 08.10 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 2054
130123 How do you encourage yourself to keep going in hard times? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 0
130122 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 1426
130121 Are there any special occasions or anniversaries you think... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 0
130120 How would your friends describe you? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 1915
130119 Do you care what a restaurant looks like, or is the food the... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 1
130118 Technology changes a lot ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 0
130117 What is your least favorite? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 2
130116 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 2428
130115 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 1662

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04