¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-15 1745

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to keep fit?

Most people want to living healthy, so their do exercise or control diet for body.
And also, try to reduce stress for mental health.
In my case, I doing a few exercises.
These days I playing a tennis and riding a bicycle.
A lot are other people do weight training also good exercises, but I lost interest these days.
First of all , I need to interest when I do the work out.
And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental.
In addition, almost every day is cheat day!
In fact, it's not good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
But, I get a one day's healthy mental from delicious food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to keep fit?


Most people want to living healthy, so their do exercise or control diet for body.
>> Most people want to live healthy, so they do exercise or do diet to control their body weight.
And also, try to reduce stress for mental health.
>> And also, they do it to reduce stress for their mental health.
In my case, I doing a few exercises.
>> In my case, I do a few exercises.
These days I play tennis and ride a bicycle.
>> These days, I playing a tennis and riding a bicycle.
A lot are other people do weight training also good exercises, but I lost interest these days.
>> There are other people who do weight training since it's also a good exercise, but I lost interest in it these days.
First of all , I need to interest when I do the work out.
>> First of all, I need to be interested in it when I do the work out.
And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental.
>> And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental health.
In addition, almost every day is cheat day!
>> CORRECT!
In fact, it's not good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
>> In fact, it's not a good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
But, I get a one day's healthy mental from delicious food.
>> But, I get happy for a day from eating delicious food.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129085 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 0
129084 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 2081
129083 Why do many people like living in the city? What do you think of... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 2
129082 homework: Advertisement °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1384
129081 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129080 Do you think the design or arrangement of your room or house is... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1332
129079 DIRECTIONS: Fill in the blanks. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1108
129078 It fine me. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1882
129077 HW ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129076 They agree with me. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1650
129075 writing exercise ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1207
129074 How does organization and decluttering contribute to a peaceful... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129073 season food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129072 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1899
129071 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1352
129070   If you could have it your way, how would you like to... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1180
129069 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 998
129068 What kind of second job do you want to have? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1862
129067 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1202
129066 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 850

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04