¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-15 2316

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to keep fit?

Most people want to living healthy, so their do exercise or control diet for body.
And also, try to reduce stress for mental health.
In my case, I doing a few exercises.
These days I playing a tennis and riding a bicycle.
A lot are other people do weight training also good exercises, but I lost interest these days.
First of all , I need to interest when I do the work out.
And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental.
In addition, almost every day is cheat day!
In fact, it's not good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
But, I get a one day's healthy mental from delicious food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to keep fit?


Most people want to living healthy, so their do exercise or control diet for body.
>> Most people want to live healthy, so they do exercise or do diet to control their body weight.
And also, try to reduce stress for mental health.
>> And also, they do it to reduce stress for their mental health.
In my case, I doing a few exercises.
>> In my case, I do a few exercises.
These days I play tennis and ride a bicycle.
>> These days, I playing a tennis and riding a bicycle.
A lot are other people do weight training also good exercises, but I lost interest these days.
>> There are other people who do weight training since it's also a good exercise, but I lost interest in it these days.
First of all , I need to interest when I do the work out.
>> First of all, I need to be interested in it when I do the work out.
And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental.
>> And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental health.
In addition, almost every day is cheat day!
>> CORRECT!
In fact, it's not good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
>> In fact, it's not a good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
But, I get a one day's healthy mental from delicious food.
>> But, I get happy for a day from eating delicious food.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131654 Trust issue ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-15 1539
131653 What do you like best about your country\'s culture? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-14 1514
131652 Do people in your country worry too much about safety? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-14 1258
131651 231013- HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-14 1
131650 Collection ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-14 1524
131649 How do you choose which movie to watch? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-14 1786
131648 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1414
131647 homework 10.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1598
131646 ¡°Name a fairy tale character that you would portray in real... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 0
131645 How has popular culture added to globalization? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1
131644 Write about an incident or disaster you know or heard of that... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1
131643 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 0
131642 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1469
131641 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 2
131640 WRITING TASK: In your opinion, what is the best form of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 7
131639 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1220
131638 prison sentences Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 2
131637 231013 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 2150
131636 How would you like to be assisted? ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1700
131635 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1447

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04