¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-15 2688

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to keep fit?

Most people want to living healthy, so their do exercise or control diet for body.
And also, try to reduce stress for mental health.
In my case, I doing a few exercises.
These days I playing a tennis and riding a bicycle.
A lot are other people do weight training also good exercises, but I lost interest these days.
First of all , I need to interest when I do the work out.
And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental.
In addition, almost every day is cheat day!
In fact, it's not good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
But, I get a one day's healthy mental from delicious food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to keep fit?


Most people want to living healthy, so their do exercise or control diet for body.
>> Most people want to live healthy, so they do exercise or do diet to control their body weight.
And also, try to reduce stress for mental health.
>> And also, they do it to reduce stress for their mental health.
In my case, I doing a few exercises.
>> In my case, I do a few exercises.
These days I play tennis and ride a bicycle.
>> These days, I playing a tennis and riding a bicycle.
A lot are other people do weight training also good exercises, but I lost interest these days.
>> There are other people who do weight training since it's also a good exercise, but I lost interest in it these days.
First of all , I need to interest when I do the work out.
>> First of all, I need to be interested in it when I do the work out.
And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental.
>> And next, I eat delicious food to reduce stress for my mental health.
In addition, almost every day is cheat day!
>> CORRECT!
In fact, it's not good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
>> In fact, it's not a good way, because the purpose of exercising disappears.
But, I get a one day's healthy mental from delicious food.
>> But, I get happy for a day from eating delicious food.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134961 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 2
134960 For foreign movies, do you prefer movies with Korean/English... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 1067
134959 2023.02.23 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 0
134958 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 0
134957 Please correct the sentence Julia ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 3
134956 Write about ont of your memeorable birthday celebrations. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1164
134955 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1657
134954 homework 02.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1166
134953 Discuss the pros and cons of using public transportation versus... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1616
134952 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 2
134951 Buying the stuff I need ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1245
134950 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 0
134949 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 983
134948 2/20 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1
134947 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 2
134946 HOMEWORK Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 824
134945 Some people think it¡¯s a good idea to wear a uniform at work. ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 2692
134944 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 0
134943 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 0
134942 I helped someone. °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 2721

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04