¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To hope to avoid a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-15 888

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. I don't like doing something without my controlling. And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

It must be the spirit of alcohol that is taking control over you when you get drunk. Well, drinking is like a game- if you do unexpected things, the next day, you will be the topic of your friends' story. Hence, behaving when you are intoxicated is a game of control. I hope that you will be safe each time you drink and do not do something unusual. ^^

Your written English level displays mastery of grammar and an evidence of long use of the language. If you read your composition again before sending it, you will realize that there may be something strange about the grammar structure and you may probably right. Then, you can edit it and make your composition error-free. Nonetheless, your sentences are organized and can easily be grasped.

I will see you tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. 
>> I would like to avoid the vice of acting out of drunkenness.

I don't like doing something without my controlling. 
>> I don't like doing something without my control.

And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.
>> And, it must be a bad thing that makes me embarrassed.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129436 How do you maintain your mental and physical health? ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 3
129435 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: What is your favorite food? Is it... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 8
129434 cooking ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1
129433 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1206
129432 What are the benefits of having just a few close friends? How... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 2330
129431 homework essay(2023. 7. 11.) ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1
129430 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1132
129429 7.July.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1
129428 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1812
129427 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1449
129426 Why do you think it\'s important to learn about history? ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 0
129425 What do you enjoy most about traveling? ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 0
129424 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-10 1277
129423 Do you check if products have been tested on animals before... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-10 2
129422 homework 07.10 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-10 1164
129421 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-10 1
129420 My remember traveling Á¤*Ãá ¿Ï·á 2023-07-10 1192
129419 What makes you happy? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-10 886
129418 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-10 2921
129417 What do you tell someone who lends you something? How about... Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-10 3402

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04