¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To hope to avoid a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-15 1657

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. I don't like doing something without my controlling. And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

It must be the spirit of alcohol that is taking control over you when you get drunk. Well, drinking is like a game- if you do unexpected things, the next day, you will be the topic of your friends' story. Hence, behaving when you are intoxicated is a game of control. I hope that you will be safe each time you drink and do not do something unusual. ^^

Your written English level displays mastery of grammar and an evidence of long use of the language. If you read your composition again before sending it, you will realize that there may be something strange about the grammar structure and you may probably right. Then, you can edit it and make your composition error-free. Nonetheless, your sentences are organized and can easily be grasped.

I will see you tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. 
>> I would like to avoid the vice of acting out of drunkenness.

I don't like doing something without my controlling. 
>> I don't like doing something without my control.

And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.
>> And, it must be a bad thing that makes me embarrassed.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134578 WRITING TASK: Which new technological tool are you looking... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 6
134577 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1
134576 WRITING TASK: Please tell me how to be more patient. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 8
134575 Money Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1304
134574 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1708
134573 Can you get injured palying golf? ÃÖ*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1479
134572 What does a good moive do to its viewers? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 986
134571 homework 2024-02-08 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1
134570 What are some of the most unique landscapes you¡¯ve ever seen? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 2107
134569 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1604
134568 My accommodation when traveling ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1277
134567 Home work ÀÌ*µð ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 0
134566 Home work ÀÌ*µð ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1244
134565 Homework for Jan.7, 2024 ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1917
134564 Should exclusive schools for boys or girls be abolished in your... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 2406
134563 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 0
134562 8 DAY HOMEWORK ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1398
134561 What¡¯s the best brand of mobile phone? Why do you think so? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 0
134560 Others\' first impression of me ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1086
134559 What was the best offer you had received last year and why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04