¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-08-14 1868

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Some people think employers should not care about the way their employees dress, but the quality of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I think that employees not care about dress code. They only be care for their environment and feeling in factory.
But I don't argue that they have to ignore clothes. It needs fit clothes. these are good equipment to protect dangerous.
Howerver hardly atomosphere makes our works difficult.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee! Happy Holiday to you! I appreciate your effort in doing your essay! Continue improving by expressing your thoughts and ideas. Have a good one! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that employees not care about dress code. 
>>> I think employees don't care about their dress code. 
They only be care for their environment and feeling in factory.
>>> They only care for their environment and feelings in the factory.
OR>>> They only mind about their work environment and emotions.
But I don't argue that they have to ignore clothes.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I am not against dress code. 
 It needs fit clothes. these are good equipment to protect dangerous.
>>>  They need comfortable clothes. These are good equipment to protect themselves from danger.
Howerver hardly atomosphere makes our works difficult.
>>> Moreover, tough atmosphere makes the work more difficult. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130188 My own way to relieve stress ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1360
130187 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1442
130186 What other pharmaceutical companies do you know that have very... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 884
130185 Was your area affected by the typhoon? How severe was the... º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130184 Make questions from each of these keywords: hesitate, invite,... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 4
130183 What food from another country would you like to try when given... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1883
130182 8/4 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 0
130181 08.11 H.W What are the customary greetings and behaviors for... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1073
130180 WRITING TASK: How can having frequent internet problems affect... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130179 What is the implication of having an aging population? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1951
130178 How often do you feel afraid? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1
130177 Behavior is someone\'s life ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 0
130176 which among your goals have you already achieved? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 0
130175 Have you ever eaten in a restaurant alone? If not, would you... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1
130174 Envy and jealousy È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2061
130173 What are some types of physical activities that people can do... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1534
130172 Why is regular exercise important for maintaining a healthy... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1941
130171 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130170 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2365
130169 08-13 homework ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04