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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What other pharmaceutical companies do you know that have very high value in the market? What drugs

작성자: 이*주
2023-08-14 614

회원님의 영작문

Painkiller is one of the most indispensable drugs in a human's life.
There are three ways to use: First, taking pills. Second, direct injection into bloodstream. Last, attaching to the skin.
Taking pills is the most familiar way to take a painkiller that is Tylenol made by Johnson & Johnson.
JNJ makes money not only solely from pharmaceuticals but also daily necessities such as baby lotion, Listerine and band aid.

Fortunately for humans, even if we take painkillers regularly our body hard to build up a tolerance.
Nevertheless, in my opinion, preventing is more important way to deal with disease rather than rely on medication.
That's why I pay attention in Apple, especially.
Apple, which has the highest market share of smart watches, is using the Apple Watch to garner users' health data.
Someday in the near future, I won't be surprised if the smart device can substitute with department of family medicine or other hospitals.

p.s. May I ask difference of painkiller between analgesic?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Hyeon Ju!

First of all, according to a legitimate Internet source, analgesics are also called painkillers which are medications that relieve different types of pain from headaches, injuries,to arthritis. Anti-inflammatory analgesics reduce inflammation, and opioid analgesics change the way the brain perceives pain.

Human beings have been intolerant of pain. It has been used for thousands of years. Undoubtedly, human life is coupled with physical pain regardless of status quo.

Now, Apple, being the leading smart watch in 2022 with 37% market share capitalizes its growth with the help of the Applications gathering health statistics and data. Even if they are not a pharmaceutical company, they can maximize  a users information to analyze health problems. You are right. In time, there may be a smart doctor who can assist us with our health problems.

Your sentences are combinations of simple to complex ones. Further, your selection of words and grammar show a very high frequency of correctness. Always make sure to use correct prepositions in verb idioms or in connecting ideas. Overall, your work is excellent!

See you in class!

-T. Donna~

Painkiller is one of the most indispensable drugs in a human's life.
>> Correct!

There are three ways to use: First, taking pills. Second, direct injection into bloodstream. Last, attaching to the skin.
>> Correct!
Or: There are three ways to use it. First, taking pills. Second, direct injection into the bloodstream. Last, attaching  it to the skin.

Taking pills is the most familiar way to take a painkiller that is Tylenol made by Johnson & Johnson.
>> Correct!

JNJ makes money not only solely from pharmaceuticals but also daily necessities such as baby lotion, Listerine and band aid.
>> Correct!

Fortunately for humans, even if we take painkillers regularly our body hard to build up a tolerance.
>> Fortunately for humans, even if we take painkillers regularly our body hardly builds up a tolerance.

Nevertheless, in my opinion, preventing is more important way to deal with disease rather than rely on medication.
>> Nevertheless, in my opinion, prevention is a more important way to deal with disease rather than rely on medication.

That's why I pay attention in Apple, especially.
>>  That's why I pay attention to Apple, especially.

Apple, which has the highest market share of smart watches, is using the Apple Watch to garner users' health data.
>> Correct!

Someday in the near future, I won't be surprised if the smart device can substitute with department of family medicine or other hospitals.
>> Correct!

p.s. May I ask difference of painkiller between analgesic?
>> Correct!
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