¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Worst vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-13 2023

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst vice is attacking other people. Violence is not allowed with any reasons. There are very serious situations happened in Korea. They try to kill strangers with the knife. We have to prevent that Violence and give heavy punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Thomas!

I absolutely agree. Attacking a person aside from self defense and war are unjustifiable and simply wrong. With the series of stabbing attacks in your country, the police may do something more than what they apparently practice.

Congratulations for getting all sentences almost all correctly! Your sentences are contain very good grammar structure. 

See you on the next homework!

-T. Donna~ 

I think the worst vice is attacking other people. 
>> Correct!

Violence is not allowed with any reasons. 
>> Correct!

There are very serious situations happened in Korea. 
>> There are very serious situations that happened in Korea. 

They try to kill strangers with the knife. 
>> Correct!

We have to prevent that Violence and give heavy punishment.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128820 My sleeping hours ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 451
128819 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 543
128818 Writing Task 0612 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1
128817 What do you think are the disadvantages and advantages of living... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 550
128816 What do you want to do on your summer vacation? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128815 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 470
128814 Do the police do a good job in your country? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 4
128813 Gentleman ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1
128812 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 2
128811 6/13 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 404
128810 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 451
128809 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 444
128808 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 291
128807 alarm ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 329
128806 Instagram feed! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 526
128805 Do you like celebrating your birthday? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 301
128804 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1133
128803 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 826
128802 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 553
128801 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04