¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Worst vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-13 1971

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst vice is attacking other people. Violence is not allowed with any reasons. There are very serious situations happened in Korea. They try to kill strangers with the knife. We have to prevent that Violence and give heavy punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Thomas!

I absolutely agree. Attacking a person aside from self defense and war are unjustifiable and simply wrong. With the series of stabbing attacks in your country, the police may do something more than what they apparently practice.

Congratulations for getting all sentences almost all correctly! Your sentences are contain very good grammar structure. 

See you on the next homework!

-T. Donna~ 

I think the worst vice is attacking other people. 
>> Correct!

Violence is not allowed with any reasons. 
>> Correct!

There are very serious situations happened in Korea. 
>> There are very serious situations that happened in Korea. 

They try to kill strangers with the knife. 
>> Correct!

We have to prevent that Violence and give heavy punishment.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131157 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 734
131156 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What makes my... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131155 Are you afraid of what other people think of you? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 474
131154 230919-HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1
131153 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131152 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 709
131151 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 313
131150 What are the biggest changes in your life recently? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 580
131149 What is your bucket list and why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 585
131148 Would you like to be a president someday? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 632
131147 What are the qualities you look for in a presidential candidate? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1162
131146 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 784
131145 Can you think of a situation where being dependable is important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 838
131144 When a product is defective, is it better to get a refund or to... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1
131143 DIRECTIONS: Fill in the blanks with \'since\' or \'because\'. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2
131142 9/18 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 374
131141 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 667
131140 I think he\'s probably embarrassed because the situation he... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 464
131139 9/19 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 616
131138 First of all, it\'s not our country. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 585

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04