¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Worst vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-13 3028

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst vice is attacking other people. Violence is not allowed with any reasons. There are very serious situations happened in Korea. They try to kill strangers with the knife. We have to prevent that Violence and give heavy punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Thomas!

I absolutely agree. Attacking a person aside from self defense and war are unjustifiable and simply wrong. With the series of stabbing attacks in your country, the police may do something more than what they apparently practice.

Congratulations for getting all sentences almost all correctly! Your sentences are contain very good grammar structure. 

See you on the next homework!

-T. Donna~ 

I think the worst vice is attacking other people. 
>> Correct!

Violence is not allowed with any reasons. 
>> Correct!

There are very serious situations happened in Korea. 
>> There are very serious situations that happened in Korea. 

They try to kill strangers with the knife. 
>> Correct!

We have to prevent that Violence and give heavy punishment.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134289 Is it necessary for people to have a hobby? Why? À±*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1690
134288 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1987
134287 homework 01.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1591
134286 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1970
134285 What\'s one thing you\'re hoping to achieve this weekend? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134284 How to work effectively ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134283 Which one do you prefer iPhone or Samsung and why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1044
134282 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 660
134281 If there is any improvement your city can do to make public... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1672
134280 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1310
134279 experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1
134278 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134277 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1336
134276 essay 11 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1200
134275 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1785
134274 I want to live in Canada or Australia. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1367
134273 A movie with a little comedy added to the c-list documentary. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1604
134272 Why do we use the computer? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1657
134271 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1469
134270 A Happy life °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1602

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04