¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Worst vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-13 3081

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst vice is attacking other people. Violence is not allowed with any reasons. There are very serious situations happened in Korea. They try to kill strangers with the knife. We have to prevent that Violence and give heavy punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Thomas!

I absolutely agree. Attacking a person aside from self defense and war are unjustifiable and simply wrong. With the series of stabbing attacks in your country, the police may do something more than what they apparently practice.

Congratulations for getting all sentences almost all correctly! Your sentences are contain very good grammar structure. 

See you on the next homework!

-T. Donna~ 

I think the worst vice is attacking other people. 
>> Correct!

Violence is not allowed with any reasons. 
>> Correct!

There are very serious situations happened in Korea. 
>> There are very serious situations that happened in Korea. 

They try to kill strangers with the knife. 
>> Correct!

We have to prevent that Violence and give heavy punishment.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134943 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 0
134942 I helped someone. °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 2724
134941 What role do you think art play in society? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1482
134940 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1762
134939 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1175
134938 Do people work long hours in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1289
134937 How do you handle difficult colleagues? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1790
134936 WRITING TASK: Why do you think in relationships, some cheat on... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 5
134935 The impact of separation ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1093
134934 What are some of the most popular books in Korea? Why do so many... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1427
134933 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1
134932 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 2
134931 I can\'t hear you...TT ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-22 2
134930 What do you want to be when you grow up? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-22 1766
134929 How many cousins do you have? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-22 1221
134928 Are you a friendly person? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-22 1138
134927 Will you still be traveling without your husband? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-22 6
134926 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-22 880
134925 homework 02.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-22 1340
134924 The best thing about my grandma ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-22 1003

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04