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ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-08-11 938

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

News spread quickly, and at the same time, various rumors and false information began to spread.
Also, the Internet can solve the situation quickly, but it has also created ways to make it worse quickly.
I can order things conveniently at various shopping malls, and it is also dangerous because my personal information is easily exposed.
So the Internet has made the world more comfortable and more vulnerable

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Da Hye,

I wanted to commend you on your dedication to finishing your homework. Your commitment to sharing your thoughts on the assigned topic really shines through. Your English is quite easy to grasp, and you've done admirably in conveying your ideas. Keep up the commendable effort, and always keep in mind that practice leads to improvement!

~Teacher Cathy              

 

News spread quickly, and at the same time, various rumors and false information began to spread.

>>News spread rapidly, and at the same time, various rumors and false information also spread.

Also, the Internet can solve the situation quickly, but it has also created ways to make it worse quickly.

>>CORRECT

OR>>The Internet can quickly improve the situation, but it has also opened avenues for making it deteriorate swiftly.

I can order things conveniently at various shopping malls, and it is also dangerous because my personal information is easily exposed.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I can conveniently place orders at different shopping malls, but it's also risky since my personal information can be easily exposed.

So the Internet has made the world more comfortable and more vulnerable

>>So, the Internet has made the world more convenient while making it vulnerable at the same time.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
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