무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What other investments are popular for people your age in South Korea?

작성자: 이*주
2023-08-11 1658

회원님의 영작문

Nowadays, people in my age are likely to save money with installment savings or deposit.
The Bank's interest rate is not higher than stock investment, but it is a safe asset if the bank is not bankruptcy.
Before COVID-19, not only my government but also other countries banks issuing money to help people who cannot earn money during a pandemic.
As a result, the value of cash goes down as known as inflation.

I'm not familiar with the economy, but I know about fears who have stocks when it comes to inflation.
The stock has volatility as much as its profits.
In my case, as I told you I bought an India company's stock because India's average age is under 30s that are shown to have great potential for economic growth in my opinion.
But the company is getting delisted.
During inflation, many stock investors sustained a huge loss.
That is the reason why people prefer to save money rather than invest.

Anyway, I wish my other stocks will advance enough to make me financial freedom.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Hyeon Ju!

Saving is putting your money into a safe and low-risk account, such as a savings account, money market account, or a certificate of deposit. Savings products generally offer low returns but they also come with low risk. They are a good option if you need to access your money in the near future and can't afford to lose any of it.

Investing differs from saving in that the money used is put to work, meaning that there is some implicit risk that the related projects may fail, resulting in a loss of money. Investing is to grow one's money over time. It is an excellent way to build your wealth and plan for your financial goals, particularly if you start at your young age. It's the primary method for saving for retirement, and it can help you reach many other financial milestones along the way.

One way of not losing stocks is diversifying your investment in the hope that you can gain good returns. Hence, in your next investments, try to split your money into different companies. This way, there may be smaller returns but more assured profit. I'm sure you will learn the ropes when you are brave enough to trade in stocks once again.

You has a high frequency of correct sentences, excellent job! My suggestions cover simple prepositions, diction (correct choice of words), as well as the proper word form. Study them  carefully below.

Thank you for your smart work for this homework task!

See you next week!

-T. Donna~

Nowadays, people in my age are likely to save money with installment savings or deposit.
>> Correct!

The Bank's interest rate is not higher than stock investment, but it is a safe asset if the bank is not bankruptcy.
>> The Bank's interest rate is not higher than stock investment, but it is a safe asset if the bank is not into bankruptcy.

Before COVID-19, not only my government but also other countries banks issuing money to help people who cannot earn money during a pandemic.
>> Before COVID-19, not only my government but also other countries banks issued money to help people who cannot earn money during the pandemic.

As a result, the value of cash goes down as known as inflation.
>> Correct!
Or: As a result, the value of cash goes down known as inflation.

I'm not familiar with the economy, but I know about fears who have stocks when it comes to inflation.
>> I'm not familiar with the economy, but I know about fears of those who have stocks when it comes to inflation.

The stock has volatility as much as its profits.
>> Correct!

In my case, as I told you I bought an India company's stock because India's average age is under 30s that are shown to have great potential for economic growth in my opinion.
>> In my case, as I told you I bought an Indian company's stock because India's average age is under 30s that are shown to have great potential for economic growth in my opinion. Very good sentence!

But the company is getting delisted.
>> Correct!

During inflation, many stock investors sustained a huge loss.
>> Correct!

That is the reason why people prefer to save money rather than invest.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I wish my other stocks will advance enough to make me financial freedom.
>> Anyway, I wish my other stocks will advance enough to give me financial freedom.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
131252 What features and functions of a car do you need most? 김*국 완료 2023-09-24 1
131251 Do you think it\'s a good idea to study English Literature in... 김*국 완료 2023-09-24 1
131250 today\'s homework 이*도 완료 2023-09-24 852
131249 What was your best friendship? Are you still friends with him or... 신*섭 완료 2023-09-23 963
131248 If your friend or family has committed a serious crime, how... 신*섭 완료 2023-09-23 997
131247 What animal best represents you? Why? 이*윤 완료 2023-09-23 837
131246 Why do you think that people still vote for the wife or... 김*민 완료 2023-09-22 1
131245 Homework 전*아 완료 2023-09-22 0
131244 homework 09.22 최*� 완료 2023-09-22 1076
131243 What is your favorite video game? 박*현 완료 2023-09-22 1112
131242 Which family holiday is your favorite?ᩚ 송*우 완료 2023-09-22 1036
131241 H.w. 권*희 완료 2023-09-22 1004
131240 Dangers of having our own business 이*규 완료 2023-09-22 910
131239 How can South Korea make more kid zones or child friendly places? 이*주 완료 2023-09-22 1
131238 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-09-22 1072
131237 HOMEWORK-230922 양*애 완료 2023-09-22 3
131236 homework 안*연 완료 2023-09-22 1032
131235 Drunk driving 양*연 완료 2023-09-22 1011
131234 I prefer pescatarian because if ill be pescatarian i can eat... 김*훈 완료 2023-09-22 867
131233 Do you agree that companies should fulfill their social... 김*원 완료 2023-09-22 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]