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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-08-10 1597

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T. Beth.
How was your day?
As you know, a typhoon "Khanun" came to our country.
Fortunately, there will be only a little damage in our city, because the typhoon is passing through the other route.
As I told you, there are many staff who are waiting for the salary increase and promotion in our clinic.
Dr. MJ and I met a staff, and we proposed a higher salary.
Of course, she looked so happy and satisfied with it.
Meanwhile, I was so surprised after checking my E-mail.
A card company sent me that I paid quite a big money to the hotel in Singapore, but it showed me the other date from the date when I really stayed.
I was confused if this payment was resulted from the hacking.
In conclusion, I found out that there can be a little difference the date between usage and approval.
Wring task:
As you mentioned it, we depend on it too much, I think.
I hope that I could live in countryside someday, because I am sick of city, technology, and money sometimes.
What about you?
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Dr. Kim. Regarding the hacking on you bank account, you have to double check and be sure it wasn't really hacked. That would be disastrous if it was.
 I live in the countryside now. There are no tall buildings in my city. This city is on top of a mountain so we have a lot of trees and nature. I love living here because of the less hectic and quiet life. I think I am dependent on technology. I need it for my work and for other things. We often experience a blackout in our city and that causes me great inconvenience.  
See you next class!

Hello, T. Beth.
>>> correct   
How was your day?
>>> correct  
As you know, a typhoon "Khanun" came to our country.
>>> As you know, typhoon "Khanun" came to our country.  
Fortunately, there will be only a little damage in our city, because the typhoon is passing through the other route.
>>> Fortunately, there will be only a little damage in our city, because the typhoon is passing through another route.  
As I told you, there are many staff who are waiting for the salary increase and promotion in our clinic.
>>>  correct 
Dr. MJ and I met a staff, and we proposed a higher salary.
>>> correct  
Of course, she looked so happy and satisfied with it.
>>> correct  
Meanwhile, I was so surprised after checking my E-mail.
>>> correct  
A card company sent me that I paid quite a big money to the hotel in Singapore, but it showed me the other date from the date when I really stayed.
>>>  A card company sent me a notification that I paid quite a big amount of money to the hotel in Singapore, but it showed me a different date from the date when I really stayed there. 
I was confused if this payment was resulted from the hacking.
>>>  I was confused if this payment was a result from hacking. 
In conclusion, I found out that there can be a little difference the date between usage and approval.
>>> In conclusion, I found out that there can be a little difference with the date between usage and approval.  
Wring task:
As you mentioned it, we depend on it too much, I think.
>>> OR: Like you said, we depend on it too much, I think.  
I hope that I could live in countryside someday, because I am sick of city, technology, and money sometimes.
>>>  I hope that I could live in the countryside someday, because I am sick and tired of the city, technology, and money sometimes. 
What about you?
>>> correct  
See you tomorrow.
>>> correct   
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