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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you think is best to mention about your introduction? Why?

작성자: 박*아
2023-08-10 3268

회원님의 영작문

What do you think is best to mention about your introduction? Why?

First, I'll say my name in an acrostic poem so that the other person can remember it.
(Park: Three claps / Kyung: In Gyeonggi Province and I am a beautiful smile)

2nd: where I live and who live with and also my job
(I have lived in Hwaseong-si with my family, I've been working for global company since 2003 in Hwaseong-si)

3rd, I speak and express my personality
(I like to meet people, study, and work together because I am outgoing.)

4th: I said what I like and my hobby.
(I usually go hiking and take a walk, so I aim to climb 100 famous mountains this year. So I go hiking on weekends and take pictures at the top of the mountain)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

You have really a nice way to introduce your name, Julia! I am now surprise that you want to climb so many mountains. I hope you can make it!-Faith-
What do you think is best to mention about your introduction? Why?
>> CORRECT
First, I'll say my name in an acrostic poem so that the other person can remember it.
>> First, I'll say my name in an acrostic poem so that the other person can remember it.
(Park: Three claps / Kyung: In Gyeonggi Province and I am a beautiful smile)
>> I will say what 'Park' means 'three claps' and Kyung stands for 'Gyeonggi Province, and I have a beautiful smile.'
2nd: where I live and who live with and also my job
>> Second, I will tell them where I live, who lives with me, and my job.
(I have lived in Hwaseong-si with my family, I've been w
orking for global company since 2003 in Hwaseong-si)
>> I will say, "I have lived in Hwaseong-si with my family, and I've been working for global company since 2003 in this city."
3rd, I speak and express my personality
>> Third, I will talk about my personality.
(I like to meet people, study, and work together because I am outgoing.)

>> I want them to know that I like to meet people, study, and work together with others because I am outgoing.
4th: I said what I like and my hobby.
>> Fourth, I will say what I like and my hobby.
(I usually go hiking and take a walk, so I aim to climb 100 famous mountains this year. 
>> I usually go hiking and take a walk, so I aim to climb 100 famous mountains this year. 
So I go hiking on weekends and take pictures at the top of the mountain)
>> Therefore, I go hiking on weekends and take pictures at the top of the mountain.
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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04