¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

human right

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-08-10 852

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The regard of human right is distorted in Korean society.

Historically there were many dictators who limited abd suppressed human rights for long time.

Ironically now the human rights of good people are threatened by criminal, disruptor, and harmers.

Protecting all criminals is the law of human rights.

The problem is not respecting other's human rights.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Lily!
How are you? Thank you for giving answers to my questions.
I appreciate your effort in writing your composition.
Stay safe and well.
Aki~

The regard of human right is distorted in Korean society.
>>> The regard of human rights is distorted in Korean society.

Historically there were many dictators who limited abd suppressed human rights for long time.
>>> Historically there were many dictators who limited and suppressed human rights for a long time.

Ironically now the human rights of good people are threatened by criminal, disruptor, and harmers.
>>> Ironically now the human rights of good people are threatened by criminals, disruptors, and harmers.

Protecting all criminals is the law of human rights.
>>> CORRECT!

The problem is not respecting others' human rights.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130417 When did you last hang out with your friends? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1374
130416 Why is it necessary to keep one\'s privacy in this... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1529
130415 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1124
130414 The importance of having a vacation ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1903
130413 The importance of advertising a product ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1426
130412 WRITING TASK: What was your favorite trip? Please tell me the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3
130411 Homework : If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life,... ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1404
130410 What are the usual consequences of being tardy or absent? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130409 How can different generations improve their communication with... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1623
130408 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1447
130407 fear ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1309
130406 8/23 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4
130405 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1183
130404 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3
130403 Can you share a time when a friend supported you differently... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130402 Write about your experience wite COVID-19. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130401 What\'s your thought on the relationship between fans and the... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 3
130400 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130399 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130398 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1214

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04