¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2023-08-10 1611

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Preparing meal takes a lot of time from shopping ingredient to cook it.
Most of young couples work at each of their company in Korea these days.
So Nobody would want to cook after work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Sunny!
I hope you are well. Thank you for giving answers to my questions.
I appreciate your effort in writing your composition.
Stay safe and well.
Aki~

Preparing meal takes a lot of time from shopping ingredient to cook it.
>>> Preparing a meal takes a lot of time from shopping for ingredients to cooking it.

Most of young couples work at each of their company in Korea these days.
>>> Most young couples work at each of their company in Korea these days.

So Nobody would want to cook after work.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130652 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 0
130651 What did you like to do when you were a child? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130650 WRITING TASK: When do you treat your friends? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130649 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 411
130648 Do you prefer traveling alone or traveling with family and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130647 A mobile phone ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130646 How do you feel about not taking a risk at all? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 855
130645 How do you feel about advising your friends? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 514
130644 Do you think bullies still have the chance to change? Why or why... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 846
130643 What are the best ways to keep yourself fit? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 799
130642 Do we have a special responsibility to help others even though... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 950
130641 What are the pros and cons of keeping a pet? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 536
130640 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 491
130639 What do you think are the biggest challenges facing transgenders... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 3
130638 I like hanging out ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2
130637 If I apologize to my ex ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1069
130636 What is the best season to enjoy travelling in Korea? Why? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1060
130635 To advise the other one ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 425
130634 homework 08.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 712
130633 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04