¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.07

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-07 2488

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Does beauty affect our success in life?

In my opinion, there are many people who value the appearance of face in Korea.
Even if my various abilities are good, but I often gossip behind my back about my face is ugly.
In fact, gossiping people appearance are also not great looking.
And they are just jealous.
Even saw the beauty affect in the company interview.
The important point is that this is not good behavior.
Because of these behavior, many people received stressed since childhood.
As a result, these people became adult, most of them have low confidence about their face.
So many people are consider about cosmetic Surgery.
Fortunately, these days, there are not many people evaluating other people appearance.
I think, this bad behavior must be disappear.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Does beauty affect our success in life?


In my opinion, there are many people who value the appearance of face in Korea.
>> CORRECT!
Even if my various abilities are good, but I often gossip behind my back about my face is ugly.
>> Even if my various abilities are good, but I often hear people gossiping behind my back about my face is ugly.
In fact, gossiping people appearance are also not great looking.
>> In fact, gossiping about people's appearance is also not great-looking.
And they are just jealous.
>> CORRECT!
Even saw the beauty affect in the company interview.
>> I even saw that beauty affects your company interview.
The important point is that this is not good behavior.
>>  The important point is that this is not a good behavior.
Because of these behavior, many people received stressed since childhood.
>> Because of these behavior, many people received stress since childhood.
As a result, these people became adult, most of them have low confidence about their face.
>> As a result, as these people became adults, most of them have low confidence about their face.
So many people are consider about cosmetic Surgery.
>> So many people consider doing cosmetic surgery.
Fortunately, these days, there are not many people evaluating other people appearance.
>> Fortunately, these days, there are not many people evaluating other people's appearance.
I think, this bad behavior must be disappear.
>> I think, this bad behavior must disappear.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125764 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1
125763 Would you rather have many skills or just a few excellent skills? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125762 2023-2/17 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 631
125761 Should we clone extinct plants and animals? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 739
125760 Do you believe that social media do more harm than good? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 842
125759 If I don¡¯t get enough sleep,¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 683
125758 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 4
125757 [Writing Task] If you were a teacher, which subject would you... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 634
125756 homework 02.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 531
125755 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 569
125754 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 559
125753 How do you practice long patience? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 830
125752 Peer preasure¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 577
125751 What do you think will happen if you will not support Ukraine as... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 4
125750 If you could change one law it your country, what would it be... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 622
125749 What problems did you have in your adolescence? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 597
125748 What would be your perfect Valentine\'s Day? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 593
125747 home work ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 598
125746 i can explain the best 3 words is see, wait, write À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 685
125745 What does the word \'hero\' mean to you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 665

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04