¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-08-05 1586

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree?

I agree with this opinion. Money is one of the most important source of happiness.
But, It must be method, don't have to be result.
Money is the better component than other option but, it isn't the best component in our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee! Thanks for doing your essay. I hope you'll have a great week!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with this opinion. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Money is one of the most important sources of happiness.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But, It must be method, don't have to be result.
>>> But, it has to be used in a more reasonable way.
Money is the better component than the other option but, it isn't the best component in our life.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127566 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1024
127565 What things do you need to consider when setting a goal Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 882
127564 How important are first impressions to you? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 614
127563 In five years ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127562 Homework ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 3
127561 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 725
127560 What is your favorit part or your house? why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127559 Stress ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127558 My favorite food is pasta. Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 691
127557 17.Apr.2-23 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127556 What do you like about camping? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 0
127555 An impressive Chuseok ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 650
127554 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 886
127553 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1
127552 How was the commute? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1
127551 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127550 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 865
127549 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 2
127548 favorite day ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 738
127547 If parensts set a proper guideline, children who are elemantary... ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04