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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Getting enough sleep helps heal your body from any pain or injuries. Do you agree or disagree?

작성자: 김*경
2023-08-05 1179

회원님의 영작문

Yes. I couldn't agree with you anymore.
Our body, esp. our brain is designed to recover and make substances for when awake while sleeping. A sleeping brain works to remove metabolic end-product which is to get rid of at a faster rate than when awake. More technically, sleep facilitates the synthesis of substances that help repair and protect the brain from metabolic end-products generated during the day, which is enabled by the reduced rate of metabolism while asleep. Sleep also is the process of making substances that we need when awake, such as glycogen. We deplete them through metabolism during wakefulness. To recap above, our brain wastes substances that it makes and recovers during sleep. Some pundit says that sleep is of the brain, by the brain, and for the brain. So having something obstructing brain functions is bad for your whole body because the brain is the most essential part of recovery and preparation for the day.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for doing your second homework, Steve! Feel free to ask some questions about it if you have any. Take care! See you in class! ~ T.Gelly

Yes. I couldn't agree with you anymore.
>> Correct
OR
>> I couldn't agree with you more
Our body, esp. our brain is designed to recover and make substances for when awake while sleeping. 
>> Our body, especially our brain is design to recover and produce substance to keep us awake while sleeping.
A sleeping brain works to remove metabolic end-product which is to get rid of at a faster rate than when awake. 
>> Correct! 
OR
>> A sleeping brain works to remove metabolic end-product which is to get rid of at a faster rate than being awake. 
More technically, sleep facilitates the synthesis of substances that help repair and protect the brain from metabolic end-products generated during the day, which is enabled by the reduced rate of metabolism while asleep. 
>> Correct!
Sleep also is the process of making substances that we need when awake, such as glycogen. 
>> Correct! 
OR
>> Sleeping is also the process of making substances that we need when awake, such as glycogen.
We deplete them through metabolism during wakefulness. 
>> Correct!
To recap above, our brain wastes substances that it makes and recovers during sleep. 
>> Correct!
OR
>> To sum it up, our brain wastes substances that it makes and recovers while sleeping.
Some pundit says that sleep is of the brain, by the brain, and for the brain. 
>> Correct!
So having something obstructing brain functions is bad for your whole body because the brain is the most essential part of recovery and preparation for the day.
>> Correct! 
OR
>> So having something that obstructs brain functions is bad for your whole body because the brain is the most essential part of recovery and preparation for the day.
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