¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-04 1588

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever?

Absolutely right! Electricity is the greatest invention.
If no electricity even now, we maybe still be living in primitive times.
First of all, familiar electronic devices would not has existed.
And we spend a terrible time summer and winter, because we can't use an air conditioner and a heater.
Sometimes, I fall into an unusual imagination about if disappear the electric.
If disappear the electric, most of we daily life will be destroyed.
First of all, we can't use all the electricity and also we can't do the almost work.
In my country, run campaigns to save electricity in crowded location like a school, companies, and subways.
This campaigns is turn off electricity for a few minutes and save electricity.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever?


Absolutely right! Electricity is the greatest invention.
>> CORRECT!
If no electricity even now, we maybe still be living in primitive times.
>> If there's no electricity even now, we may still be living in primitive times.
First of all, familiar electronic devices would not has existed.
>> First of all, familiar electronic devices would not exist.
And we spend a terrible time summer and winter, because we can't use an air conditioner and a heater.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes, I fall into an unusual imagination about if disappear the electric.
>> Sometimes, I fall into an unusual imagination about the disappearance of electricity.
If disappear the electric, most of we daily life will be destroyed.
>> If electricity disappears, people will suffer on a daily basis.
First of all, we can't use all the electricity and also we can't do the almost work.
>> First of all, we can't use all the electricity, and we can't do most of the work.
In my country, run campaigns to save electricity in crowded location like a school, companies, and subways.
>> In my country, run campaigns to save electricity happen in crowded locations like schools, companies, and subways.
This campaigns is turn off electricity for a few minutes and save electricity.
>> This campaign's aim is to let people turn off the electricity for a few minutes and save electricity.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130152 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130151 Would you rather go to the beach or the pamping? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1515
130150 Why is laughter the best medicine? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1926
130149 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1436
130148 Would you like your name to be put in the Walk of Fame? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1358
130147 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130146 If you\'re talking about rules to follow between love, I think... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 911
130145 The first thing that comes to mind is the illegal discharge of... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2366
130144 News spread quickly, and at the same time, various rumors and... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1626
130143 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1322
130142 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1613
130141 Are there times when jokes are bad and should not be told? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1842
130140 Homework : Which part of your apartment do you not like most? ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2053
130139 What i\'am afraid of È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2652
130138 What other investments are popular for people your age in South... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1538
130137 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1600
130136 Homework : When do you see yourself being competitive? ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1181
130135 Homework : Which place do you prefer to live in, Busan or Gimpo?... ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2017
130134 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1362
130133 The beauty standards in Korea ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1941

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04