¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-03 2075

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?

I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?


I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
>> This disease describes an excessive weight loss and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
>> These days, this disease becomes a problematic one for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
>> They refuse eating food because they want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
>> This way of doing diet is a shortcut for breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
>> Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat that will reduce muscles, and kidneys will be in danger.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
>> So, doctors always advise, "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.
>> Fortunately, because of the development of sports media these days, more people exercise in a healthy way.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128145 women ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 189
128144 Who are you closest to in your family? What kind of relationship... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 262
128143 What is the importance of television? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 4
128142 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 349
128141 We should know some knowledge of disease. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1
128140 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 232
128139 What is good and bad about having feedbacks? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 1
128138 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 1
128137 homework 05.10 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 218
128136 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 202
128135 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 167
128134 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 276
128133 What is your favorite fruit and why? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 251
128132 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 3
128131 What is your favorite subject and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 221
128130 Will your future line of work be impacted positively or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 5
128129 I¡¯m thankful for¡¦! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 264
128128 In my opinion, the most common compliment in Korea is the... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 173
128127 Make a sentence using this word: 1. perfect score ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 0
128126 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04