¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-03 2701

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?

I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?


I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
>> This disease describes an excessive weight loss and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
>> These days, this disease becomes a problematic one for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
>> They refuse eating food because they want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
>> This way of doing diet is a shortcut for breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
>> Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat that will reduce muscles, and kidneys will be in danger.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
>> So, doctors always advise, "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.
>> Fortunately, because of the development of sports media these days, more people exercise in a healthy way.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129831 Homework for 05/19 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129830 Homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1574
129829 They seem to be abusing it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2334
129828 Homework for 05/12 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2
129827 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1696
129826 WRITING TASK: How do you manage a busy weekend? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129825 I think no. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1821
129824 I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2478
129823 That\'s because everyone has different genes and environments. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1801
129822 7/27 wiriting task ÀÌ*Àç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1202
129821 double parking ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2284
129820 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1497
129819 The advantages of buying your own house in Korea ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1776
129818 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2021
129817 Why we need resoect ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 0
129816 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2135
129815 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1457
129814 Greetings ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2062
129813 7/26 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1
129812 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-27 1902

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04