¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-03 3565

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?

I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?


I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
>> This disease describes an excessive weight loss and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
>> These days, this disease becomes a problematic one for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
>> They refuse eating food because they want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
>> This way of doing diet is a shortcut for breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
>> Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat that will reduce muscles, and kidneys will be in danger.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
>> So, doctors always advise, "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.
>> Fortunately, because of the development of sports media these days, more people exercise in a healthy way.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139674 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 4
139673 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1220
139672 What things did you often trade when you were a child? Who did... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1857
139671 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1330
139670 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139669 Are you generally a positive person or a negative person? ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1270
139668 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139667 Which part of your childhood do you wish you could change? Why? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1220
139666 If you could design your own park, what would you put in it? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1334
139665 Homwork ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 0
139664 homework ·ù*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1227
139663 What do you think about children crying in a restaurant when you... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1276
139662 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1396
139661 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 0
139660 Relaxing ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1300
139659 9/3(Tue) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1122
139658 sick and tired of ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 0
139657 mistake ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 0
139656 september ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 2
139655 HOMEWORK FOR 09.02.2024 WRITING TASK: What are you most excited... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04