¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-03 3634

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?

I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?


I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
>> This disease describes an excessive weight loss and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
>> These days, this disease becomes a problematic one for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
>> They refuse eating food because they want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
>> This way of doing diet is a shortcut for breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
>> Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat that will reduce muscles, and kidneys will be in danger.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
>> So, doctors always advise, "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.
>> Fortunately, because of the development of sports media these days, more people exercise in a healthy way.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140551 Would you feel motivated or discouraged if you work hard and do... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1183
140550 Does the cover of a book make you want to read it, or do you not... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1434
140549 What might happen if you don¡¯t use any phones in a day, week,... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1213
140548 What appliance do you wish you had in your home that you don¡¯t... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1252
140547 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1024
140546 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2
140545 The last time I was proud ÃÖ*Âù ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1075
140544 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1
140543 How can we show everyone is equal? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1074
140542 21oct2024- homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1335
140541 What were some of the rules you had to follow at your high... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 5
140540 I don\'t want to see things on social media that you don\'t like. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1221
140539 I don\'t make much effort. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1024
140538 What strategies do you use to build your self-confidence? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1083
140537 How would the world change if you could instantly understand any... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1006
140536 What would change if money didn¡¯t exist but people still had to... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 992
140535 Can you think of a time when doing nothing was the best action? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1226
140534 Should kids have more of a say in decisions made by their... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1126
140533 What do you do to maintain or improve your mental health? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1402
140532 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1352

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04