¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best time to sleep and how many hours we should sleep?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-03 1926

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it is good to sleep on a regular basis, and not bad to sleep at a late time. What is more important than when to sleep is how much quality sleep you have each day because our body needs enough rest after work every day. It depends from person to person how many hours to sleep. However, I think we need at least over 5 hours a day to recover physically and mentally. But I don't mean to say when to sleep is not important, as the old saying goes, one hour's sleep before midnight is worth three after.

There are many ways and tools to make our sleeping time better, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. I strongly recommend you try it. Sound sleep will help you make a wonderful day. If you toss and turn at night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, you can expect that that day could be another bad and tiring day. on that note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-do in some sense.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! Thank you for doing your homework. It was indeed a nice composition. Kindly check the corrections I made and if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Have a great day! ~ T.Gelly

In my opinion, it is good to sleep on a regular basis, and not bad to sleep at a late time. 
>> I think it is good to sleep regularly and not bad to sleep late sometimes.
What is more important than when to sleep is how much quality sleep you have each day because our body needs enough rest after work every day. 
>> What is more important is the quality of sleep you get each day because our body needs enough rest after the whole day of work.
It depends from person to person how many hours to sleep. 
>> But this depends from person to person on how many hours of sleep they get.
However, I think we need at least over 5 hours a day to recover physically and mentally. 
>> However, I think we need at least more than 5 hours a day to recover from being exhausted physically and mentally.
But I don't mean to say when to sleep is not important, as the old saying goes, one hour's sleep before midnight is worth three after.
>> But I didn't mean to say that sleeping is not important, as the old saying goes, an hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after.
There are many ways and tools to make our sleeping time better, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. 
>> There are many ways and tools to improve our sleeping time, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. 
I strongly recommend you try it. 
>> CORRECT
OR 
>> I strongly suggest you try it.
Sound sleep will help you make a wonderful day. 
>>  Having a sound sleep will make your day wonderful.
If you toss and turn at night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, you can expect that that day could be another bad and tiring day. 
>> If you have a restless night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, just expect to have a bad and tiring day.
on that note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-do in some sense.
>> On a note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-have in some sense.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129237 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1932
129236 What is the best restaurant in your town? Do you like going... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2
129235 How would you describe an ideal weekend? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 0
129234 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1445
129233 My most passionate thing Çã*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1625
129232 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1060
129231 When to take an opportunity ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1320
129230 My dream house ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1150
129229 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1385
129228 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1106
129227 Do you think mental health is more important than physical... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1842
129226 What are other major issues that you can observe in New York? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1376
129225 In your opinion, what is the most difficult part of learning... Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1705
129224 taxi-drones Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2426
129223 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 0
129222 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1398
129221 I think it\'s the destruction of the ozone layer. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 1484
129220 I don\'t know well. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 924
129219 Homework 6/30 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 1
129218 Homeworks 6/28 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04