¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best time to sleep and how many hours we should sleep?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-03 3230

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it is good to sleep on a regular basis, and not bad to sleep at a late time. What is more important than when to sleep is how much quality sleep you have each day because our body needs enough rest after work every day. It depends from person to person how many hours to sleep. However, I think we need at least over 5 hours a day to recover physically and mentally. But I don't mean to say when to sleep is not important, as the old saying goes, one hour's sleep before midnight is worth three after.

There are many ways and tools to make our sleeping time better, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. I strongly recommend you try it. Sound sleep will help you make a wonderful day. If you toss and turn at night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, you can expect that that day could be another bad and tiring day. on that note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-do in some sense.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! Thank you for doing your homework. It was indeed a nice composition. Kindly check the corrections I made and if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Have a great day! ~ T.Gelly

In my opinion, it is good to sleep on a regular basis, and not bad to sleep at a late time. 
>> I think it is good to sleep regularly and not bad to sleep late sometimes.
What is more important than when to sleep is how much quality sleep you have each day because our body needs enough rest after work every day. 
>> What is more important is the quality of sleep you get each day because our body needs enough rest after the whole day of work.
It depends from person to person how many hours to sleep. 
>> But this depends from person to person on how many hours of sleep they get.
However, I think we need at least over 5 hours a day to recover physically and mentally. 
>> However, I think we need at least more than 5 hours a day to recover from being exhausted physically and mentally.
But I don't mean to say when to sleep is not important, as the old saying goes, one hour's sleep before midnight is worth three after.
>> But I didn't mean to say that sleeping is not important, as the old saying goes, an hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after.
There are many ways and tools to make our sleeping time better, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. 
>> There are many ways and tools to improve our sleeping time, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. 
I strongly recommend you try it. 
>> CORRECT
OR 
>> I strongly suggest you try it.
Sound sleep will help you make a wonderful day. 
>>  Having a sound sleep will make your day wonderful.
If you toss and turn at night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, you can expect that that day could be another bad and tiring day. 
>> If you have a restless night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, just expect to have a bad and tiring day.
on that note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-do in some sense.
>> On a note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-have in some sense.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136316 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136315 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 0
136314 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 3
136313 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1164
136312 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 939
136311 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1472
136310 What does success mean to you, and how do you plan to reach it? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1177
136309 Mission statement of HYT salses ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1086
136308 Greeting as a new president of HYT sales ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1788
136307 Welcome to HYT sales department. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1574
136306 Inspired ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136305 Some people say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136304 What is one valuable lesson you have learned from your mother? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1277
136303 What does a holiday mean to you? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1324
136302 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1331
136301 HOMEWORK FOR 04.11.2024 WRITING TASK: What would you do if the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 6
136300 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1564
136299 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1405
136298 HOMEWORK FOR 04.10.2024 WRITING TASK: Have you ever joined a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 4
136297 HOMEWORK FOR 04.09.2024 WRITING TASK: What is a famous fantasy... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04