¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best time to sleep and how many hours we should sleep?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-03 3835

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it is good to sleep on a regular basis, and not bad to sleep at a late time. What is more important than when to sleep is how much quality sleep you have each day because our body needs enough rest after work every day. It depends from person to person how many hours to sleep. However, I think we need at least over 5 hours a day to recover physically and mentally. But I don't mean to say when to sleep is not important, as the old saying goes, one hour's sleep before midnight is worth three after.

There are many ways and tools to make our sleeping time better, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. I strongly recommend you try it. Sound sleep will help you make a wonderful day. If you toss and turn at night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, you can expect that that day could be another bad and tiring day. on that note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-do in some sense.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! Thank you for doing your homework. It was indeed a nice composition. Kindly check the corrections I made and if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Have a great day! ~ T.Gelly

In my opinion, it is good to sleep on a regular basis, and not bad to sleep at a late time. 
>> I think it is good to sleep regularly and not bad to sleep late sometimes.
What is more important than when to sleep is how much quality sleep you have each day because our body needs enough rest after work every day. 
>> What is more important is the quality of sleep you get each day because our body needs enough rest after the whole day of work.
It depends from person to person how many hours to sleep. 
>> But this depends from person to person on how many hours of sleep they get.
However, I think we need at least over 5 hours a day to recover physically and mentally. 
>> However, I think we need at least more than 5 hours a day to recover from being exhausted physically and mentally.
But I don't mean to say when to sleep is not important, as the old saying goes, one hour's sleep before midnight is worth three after.
>> But I didn't mean to say that sleeping is not important, as the old saying goes, an hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after.
There are many ways and tools to make our sleeping time better, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. 
>> There are many ways and tools to improve our sleeping time, such as ergonomically designed pillows and beds. 
I strongly recommend you try it. 
>> CORRECT
OR 
>> I strongly suggest you try it.
Sound sleep will help you make a wonderful day. 
>>  Having a sound sleep will make your day wonderful.
If you toss and turn at night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, you can expect that that day could be another bad and tiring day. 
>> If you have a restless night and get up on the wrong side of the bed, just expect to have a bad and tiring day.
on that note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-do in some sense.
>> On a note, investing in good pillows and beds is worthwhile and a must-have in some sense.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140537 How would the world change if you could instantly understand any... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 990
140536 What would change if money didn¡¯t exist but people still had to... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 975
140535 Can you think of a time when doing nothing was the best action? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1195
140534 Should kids have more of a say in decisions made by their... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1110
140533 What do you do to maintain or improve your mental health? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1357
140532 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1334
140531 Why do you think many people smoke? Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1119
140530 Too many students earning degrees have diluted the value of a... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1205
140529 What do you enjoy most about autumn? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1072
140528 How do you see yourself growing or advancing in your ideal... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1126
140527 Have you ever had to step in and help during a difficult time... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1055
140526 Why do you think apologizing is important in relationships? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1329
140525 18oct2024-Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1019
140524 Can people change their personality if they want to? Do you know... ÀÎ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1560
140523 Does an age difference make it difficult to be friends? ÀÎ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1202
140522 Moving grave ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1064
140521 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1195
140520 My most memorable trip destination is ¡¯New Zealand¡¯ ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1300
140519 I think save the money is strong point of going Dutch ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 1
140518 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04