¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*¼®
2023-08-03 2538

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK for 08/01
Write 5-8 sentences
TOPIC: What do you think is the best age for people to retire? Why do you think so?

I think best age for people to retier is as soons as posible fast better because when we are young we are good health so we can look at our bodies and we don't have to work hard by our bad bodies. but I think people is don't have to working never.we need just a little work even when we got old

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning to you, Min Seog. Thanks for always doing your best in doing your homework. I appreciate all your effort and hard work. Let's continue to study in the class tomorrow. See you! ~ T. Marie ^^ 
I think best age for people to retier is as soons as posible fast better 
>> I think the best age for people to retire is as soon as possible, the faster, the better. 
because when we are young we are good health so we can look at our bodies and we don't have to work hard by our bad bodies. 
>> Because when we were young, we have good health so we can look after our bodies. 
>> We don't have to work hard when our bodies get bad.
but I think people is don't have to working never.
>> But I think people doesn't have to stop working. 
we need just a little work even when we got old
>> We need to work a little even when we get old. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127471 today ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 617
127470 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 647
127469 How can you improve your focus when studying and learning... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127468 4.13 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 916
127467 6.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2
127466 10.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 3
127465 Talking ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127464 What kind of music do you like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127463 It¡¯s secret! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 598
127462 What are the characteristics you look for in a friend? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 4
127461 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 820
127460 ❤️❤️ ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 648
127459 Essay ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 801
127458 International Marriage ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 697
127457 What was the best thing about your childhood? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 739
127456 Knowing latest news is important for me. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 4
127455 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127454 I don\'t do social media. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 681
127453 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 582
127452 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04