¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Traveling!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2023-08-02 2354

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi So Yun!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please be careful with subject and verb agreement.
If you have any questions, you can always ask in class.
Keep up the good work.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
>> Some good things about traveling are that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127470 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 639
127469 How can you improve your focus when studying and learning... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127468 4.13 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 907
127467 6.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2
127466 10.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 3
127465 Talking ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127464 What kind of music do you like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127463 It¡¯s secret! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 589
127462 What are the characteristics you look for in a friend? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 4
127461 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 810
127460 ❤️❤️ ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 638
127459 Essay ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 791
127458 International Marriage ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 690
127457 What was the best thing about your childhood? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 734
127456 Knowing latest news is important for me. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 4
127455 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127454 I don\'t do social media. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 672
127453 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 582
127452 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 5
127451 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04