¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Traveling!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2023-08-02 2235

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi So Yun!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please be careful with subject and verb agreement.
If you have any questions, you can always ask in class.
Keep up the good work.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
>> Some good things about traveling are that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128421 The most dangerous disease ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1193
128420 May. 24 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 984
128419 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1125
128418 Homowork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1205
128417 Do you think that the education system is changing? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128416 We can\'t tame a wild animal as a pet. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128415 homework 05.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 988
128414 neighbor ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128413 World of Gossip ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 669
128412 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128411 Write about your favorite part of the movie The Super Mario... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128410 Why do people love junk food? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 987
128409 talk about the meal you last ate or had. Use as many adjectives... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1118
128408 Mary Kay Ash said: \"People are definitely a company¡¯s greatest... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 5
128407 Describe the most confident person you know ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1143
128406 The gift that I want to receive on my birthday ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1163
128405 What is your favorite cartoon character and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 847
128404 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1078
128403 What do you do to loosen up after a busy exhausting day? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1066
128402 What are some ways to enjoy the summer vacation? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 905

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04