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8.1.Tue

작성자: 황*민
2023-08-02 1509

회원님의 영작문

8.1.Tue
Q: Which is more important wealth or a good relationship with your family? Why?
A: I think good relationship with my family is more important than wealth. I had conviction by K-dramas. Many of K-dramas have the story of rich family. The rich family has great wealth, but they can’t have good relationship each especially between siblings. Because they are rival that have to inherit their parents’ wealth as much as possible. However, eventually they are not happy. They competed by devoting their whole lifetime and didn’t get any true heart from anybody. So I decided the life that is rich and has nobody who love them is worse than the life that is not rich but has value people.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Sandy! I agree with your opinion and you were able to express it well :) Thank you for doing your homework. See you later!
~ T. Demi ^^
I think good relationship with my family is more important than wealth.
>> I think a good relationship with my family is more important than wealth.
I had conviction by K-dramas. 
>> I had this conviction because of K-dramas.
Many of K-dramas have the story of rich family. 
>> Many K-dramas have stories about rich families.
The rich family has great wealth, but they can’t have good relationship each especially between siblings. 
>> A rich family has great wealth but they can't have a good relationship with each other, especially between siblings.
Because they are rival that have to inherit their parents’ wealth as much as possible. 
>> Because they are rivals that have to inherit their parent's wealth.
However, eventually they are not happy. 
>> However, eventually they will not be happy.
They competed by devoting their whole lifetime and didn’t get any true heart from anybody. 
>> They devoted their whole lifetime competing and didn't get any true affection from anybody.
So I decided the life that is rich and has nobody who love them is worse than the life that is not rich but has value people.
>>So, I decided that a life lacking love despite wealth is far worse than a life of poverty but surrounded by valuable individuals.
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