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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework 08.01

작성자: 최*�
2023-08-01 1761

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?

We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?

We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
>> We can know various news, information, and how to keep in touch with our friends through the social media/networking sites.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
>> But, these days, there are issues that come from social media platforms.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy. 
>> Even now, crimes such as stalking someone also happen through lack of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
>> In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are a battlefield these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
>> For example, more people believe in wrong information.
OR >> For example, more people believe in false pieces of information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
>> If I post a comment "Your information is wrong", that starts a keyboard war.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
>> Later, they insult the owner's profile pictures, that person's job, place of residence, and they insult that person childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
>> So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battles.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
>> Fighting through the internet is something that makes me tired.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.
>> Living in the internet world is not good for our mental and physical health.
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128316 In three to five sentences (3-5), talk about your \"worst day.\" 백*진 완료 2023-05-18 1560
128315 What activities or games do you play with your friends? 박*현 완료 2023-05-18 1340
128314 What do you think is an appropriate punishment for cyberbullying 박*연 완료 2023-05-18 1131
128313 The country I want to visit 송*우 완료 2023-05-18 1361
128312 Homework 김*숙 완료 2023-05-18 1665
128311 Homework 김*숙 완료 2023-05-18 1139
128310 I think it is just affected by people who are ignorant. 이*웅 완료 2023-05-18 1
128309 Homework 김*란 완료 2023-05-18 1
128308 I can teach!! 김*윤 완료 2023-05-18 1481
128307 How has your country changed from five years ago? 박*우 완료 2023-05-18 1328
128306 What are the advantages of smart phone? 신*섭 완료 2023-05-18 1309
128305 Homework 박*은 완료 2023-05-18 0
128304 5/18 homework. 최*봄 완료 2023-05-18 1576
128303 homework 신*휘 완료 2023-05-18 1755
128302 I like spring best 양*연 완료 2023-05-18 1549
128301 Answer to \"What kind of greeting annoys you?\" 김*진 완료 2023-05-18 4
128300 Homework 함*주 완료 2023-05-18 1
128299 May.18 박*경 완료 2023-05-18 1916

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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01
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파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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