¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.01

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-01 1529

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?

We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?


We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
>> We can know various news, information, and how to keep in touch with our friends through the social media/networking sites.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
>> But, these days, there are issues that come from social media platforms.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy. 
>> Even now, crimes such as stalking someone also happen through lack of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
>> In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are a battlefield these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
>> For example, more people believe in wrong information.
OR >> For example, more people believe in false pieces of information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
>> If I post a comment "Your information is wrong", that starts a keyboard war.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
>> Later, they insult the owner's profile pictures, that person's job, place of residence, and they insult that person childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
>> So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battles.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
>> Fighting through the internet is something that makes me tired.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.
>> Living in the internet world is not good for our mental and physical health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131254 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 0
131253 Latest trends in South Korea ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 906
131252 What features and functions of a car do you need most? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 1
131251 Do you think it\'s a good idea to study English Literature in... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 1
131250 today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 882
131249 What was your best friendship? Are you still friends with him or... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-23 977
131248 If your friend or family has committed a serious crime, how... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-23 1027
131247 What animal best represents you? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-23 852
131246 Why do you think that people still vote for the wife or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131245 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 0
131244 homework 09.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1113
131243 What is your favorite video game? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1143
131242 Which family holiday is your favorite?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1065
131241 H.w. ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1027
131240 Dangers of having our own business ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 926
131239 How can South Korea make more kid zones or child friendly places? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131238 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1087
131237 HOMEWORK-230922 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 3
131236 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1049
131235 Drunk driving ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1042

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04